Thursday, 19 July 2018

Retirement With My Grandhoomans!

There comes a time in an old fellas life
When without puppies, partner or wife,
His thoughts and thinking does thinks of change
And how his life could be rearranged.

I does loves my mum with all my heart
But longer are the days we spend apart.
She has to work and do silly people stuff
And for little old me, enough is enough!

I know a place where I can wile away the hours,
Lying in the grass and tiddling on the flowers;
The old peoples house is very much my home,
That's where I want to be, where I want to roam.

With all the treats and Chow Chows to play,
No more do I endure my mums working day.
Laid back lazy mornings and cuddly snuggle up nights,
I hereby does declare, that these are my rights!

With the bestest Grandhoomans, I does now retire,
Because with them I does shares the very same desire.
But I do thanks to my mum for hearing my voice,
For loving me enough to let me make my choice.

Saturday, 13 May 2017

Dear Mrs May

Dear Mrs May,
Today you made me sad,
I heard what you did say
And I thinks it's very bad!

In this world that humans rule,
Us animals always lose out.
How can you be so cruel?
Does you know what fox hunting is about?

There are many traditions of old
That I'm sure you would forsake.
Like the times that women were told
They were witches and burned at the stake!

Could you please try and be a nice lady
And keep hunting forever banned?
Because then perhaps and maybe,
You'll be worthy of ruling our land!

Us four pawed pals also belong,
Though our people have the final vote!
Mrs May, fox hunting is wrong!
So please please take note!

Fox hunting is very naughty and cruel Mrs May! Please stop it!

Love from,

Bert x
(A very caring little Border Terrier)

Saturday, 29 October 2016

Just For A Moment (Written by my mum)

Choked by the smoke
That covers the dead,
He clawed his way out of a trench,
And just for a moment
He looked ahead
With his fists tightly clenched.
Grinding his teeth, his rounded eyes
Followed his wandering mind,
And just for a moment I heard him cry,
'Can't you see, can't you see I am blind?'
And carved on his headstone,
A well versed caption,
It clearly reads -
'This soldier died in action.'

Drowned in the dirt
That buries the dead,
Determined to be man.
For just a moment
He charged ahead
Waving a gun in his hand.
Gritting his teeth, a fervid frown
Shooting across his face,
And at that moment before he went down,
He cried, 'I have won! I have won the bloody race!'
And carved on his headstone
Where many have cried,
It clearly reads -
'As a hero he died.'

Taunted by the filth
Decomposing the dead
Shattered shell-shocked nerves,
Just for a moment
He turned his head
Against all he had sworn to serve.
His chattering teeth, tasting tears,
Shivering through his bones,
And just for a moment his eighteen years
Were reduced to a cry, 'Take me home'.
And carved on his headstone,
Weathered and worn,
We cowardly mutter -
'This boy was shot at dawn.'

Rhiannon Fox

Fings Wot Dus Annoy Me

Fings wot dus annoy me
Dus indeed annoy,
Like wen grandma takes away
My very favourite toy!
She puts it in the wash
And round and round it goes,
Making it all squash,
Ears, face and nose.

Fings wot dus annoy me
Is very annoying indeed, 
Like wen I goes on walkies,
Mum tugs upon my lead.
Sqwizzels, rabbits and rats,
I sniffs them all out there,
But she always pulls me back
And this just issent fair!

Fings wot dus annoy me
Dus sumtimes make me mad,
Like wen mum dus leave without me
Not finking that it's bad!
Then wen she dus comes back,
Knowing she shud have stayed in,
She says, "Who the heck did that?",
Ungrateful I've sorted out the bin!

Fings wot dus annoy me,
I also finks is rude,
Like wen mum dus sits in front of me
Eating all her food.
Although I have had mine,
I finks that she shud share,
This wud be most kind
And very very fair!

Fings wot dus annoy me,
Dus sumtimes make me bark,
Like dogs not on their leads
Bullying me in the park!
I always have to be wary
Wen others break the rules,
And I find it very scary
Cos their people is such fools!

All these fings dus annoy me and other fings too!

Friday, 14 October 2016

Chasing Cats Is Important Work

Chasing cats is important work,
A vital role one must not shirk;
Although I love my own littel cat
His species name dus rime with RAT!

Wen you dus walkies down the street
Look under cars for feline feet,
Round the corners and behind the plants,
That's where you'll spy littel furry pants.

And wen your eyes dus spot the sight,
You knows your skills did get it rite!
But them cats dus likes to stop and stare,
So hold your nerve and stand rite there.

Cats can jump and scratch and bite,
Cats dussent do a gentlemanly fite!
Cats dus try to possess your mind,
Cats is norty, mean and not kind.

Timing is the key so time with care,
Cos cats can suddenly be not there.
But wen you is reddy release your brave
And learn them cats how to behave!

Saturday, 21 May 2016

Forgive Me?

Forgive me when I scratch and bite,
Lashing out at you and crying all night,
My vocalisations doing nought but swear.
It's simply because you were not there!
Forgive me?

Forgive me when I wander alone
And for hours and hours I don't come home.
I care nothing for your solace or peace,
I need my freedom, my soul released. 
Forgive me?

Forgive me when I sit and stare
And claw your heart without a care,
Then kneeding you upon your knee,
Needing to know you are there just for me.
Forgive me?

Forgive me when I forget to trust
Yet knowing you now I know that I must.
But memories haunting and hauntings go on,
I'm haunted by those who did me wrong.
Forgive them?

Forgive me when I scatter my tray,
Adding to your chores and jobs for the day.
Begging for food, habits don't die.
Please forgive me and never ask why.
Just forgive me.

Forgive me for being dumped on the street,
It's not the way that anyone should meet!
Desperate, lonely and out of my mind;
Yet I forgive you and all of your kind.
Can you forgive you?

(This is a guest post ritten by my cat Charles Henry wot was a abandoned kitten and I did looks after him) 

Thursday, 5 November 2015

I Asked My Norty Littel Cat Oh Why Is Yoo So Bad!

I asked my norty littel cat
"Oh why is yoo so bad"
And he replied "Do not say that,
Yoo don't know the life I've had."
He sed that lonely on the streets
His peepel left him there,
And he did learn abowt mistreats
And how hoomans dussent care!

He sed that he did cry each nite,
Frytened, hungry and cold,
And finking that this rong was rite
Cos he was never told!
But wen a smiley kind man came,
Enticing him wiv food,
He fort it mite just be a game
But to refuse it wud be rood.

He sed that moment it did start,
Wiv that kind mans gentel touch,
His firstest purr came from his hart
And he liked it very much.
And then to me that man did come
Snuggling my norty cat,
Then he gave him to my mum,
And thats the end of dat!

But again I asked my norty cat 
"Why is yoo norty and bad?".
"By now yoo shud be over that,
Given the life you've had?".
He stared a stare and did reply;
"Sum fings I dus regret",
And wiv a littel tear in his eye,
He sed, "I'll be gud wen I dus forget".

Saturday, 20 June 2015

I'm A Brave Little Border Terrier

I'm a brave little Border Terrier,
I've killed socks, sqweeks and shoes,
I've chased off sqwizzels and wabbitz
And everyfing else dat moves! 
I've barked away dem monsters
Dat sumtimes comes at nite,
Protecting my hooman lady
Before we snuggle up tite!

Wen dragons dus hide in de bushes,
I pownce wiv my four paws,
I never dus takes non nonsense
Cos dat is de Terrier law!
But ders two fings dat dus scare me
And dey is de scariest fings;
Big buzzy flies and wasps,
Dat dus want to do big stings!

Dem wasps dus hold me hostidge,
Wen I tries to run away,
Dey dus do der chasing me,
And corse a big affray!
But brave boy I dus be,
I run to my hoomans aid,
And cuddles up on her knee,
Cos she is also afraid!

(I dussent likes big buzzy flies and wasps! Dey is very horrible and scary)

Sonnet Number 2 (Sitting on de Porch)

We dus all takes our guidance from Marley,
And our direkshuns from Sir Clapton too,
And although we dus never gets snarly,
If yoo dus upsets us we will gets yoo!
Wen we is togevver we dus stay strong,
And togevver we will always be stood,
Cos de BT Posse is never rong,
We is de best bruvva and sisterhud.
For us der is a very speshul place
Where Marley and Clapton tell us to go,
And at der command we dus all make haste
If a fur is in need wot we dus know.
And come rain or shine wiv love as a torch
Yoo will find us sitting on our pals porch! 

(Dis is for all Border Terriers and furpals but was ritten wiv Rohan in my hart cos he was hurted today by a big mean nasty dog and we is all sad bowt dat and hopes his wounds heal very very soon like now really).

Sunday, 31 May 2015

Sonnet Number 1 (Fridge Raiding)

How I dus loves time wiv my girl alone,
We dus haves so much fun wen mum's not here,
And I can cast aside dat boring bone,
As I bound to de kitchen wiv no fear!
Wen she opens de fridge I wags my tail
At de site of scotch eggs and cheese and fings,
Putting up my paw it never dus fail,
And my girl dus knows wot joys dis dus bring!
She dus gives me sum sossidge and sum cheese,
And dare are lots of other nommy treats,
And my girl dus never makes me say please,
As we dus munch on all de fruit and meats!
But wen we dus hear mums key in de door,
We says we not eaten, so we gets more!