Sunday 31 May 2015

Sonnet Number 1 (Fridge Raiding)

How I dus loves time wiv my girl alone,
We dus haves so much fun wen mum's not here,
And I can cast aside dat boring bone,
As I bound to de kitchen wiv no fear!
Wen she opens de fridge I wags my tail
At de site of scotch eggs and cheese and fings,
Putting up my paw it never dus fail,
And my girl dus knows wot joys dis dus bring!
She dus gives me sum sossidge and sum cheese,
And dare are lots of other nommy treats,
And my girl dus never makes me say please,
As we dus munch on all de fruit and meats!
But wen we dus hear mums key in de door,
We says we not eaten, so we gets more! 


Tuesday 26 May 2015

Dear Mrs Sturgeon

Dear Mrs Sturgeon,
Wud yoo be so kind,
And finks abowt dem foxes
Wivs your clever mind?
Yoo is a Scottish lady,
And all Border Terriers too
Dus share yore heritage maybe,
But we is lucking ups to yoo!

Down here below de borders
Sum wants to hunt again,
We finks dis is out of order
So please vote, do not refrain!
Mrs Sturgeon wiv paws crossed
We is having fafe in yoo,
And lives shud not be lost
By wot dem horrid hunters do!

So dear Mrs Sturgeon,
Our kilts we'll prowdly wear,
If yoo dus goes to Westminster
And shows dem dat yoo care.

Hunting foxes is not nice Mrs Sturgeon.

Lots of Love,

Bert xxxxx